BBC Headlines: Crisis! Loo Shortage!

We begin with the ever-conscientious British Parliament: MPs take on the cistern. Apparently the public toilets in England need some overhauling.

The best part about that article, though, is one of the pictures embedded in it:


Caption: Phyllis Starkey is on a mission to solve Britain's loo shortage

That poor woman, forever associated with "Britain's loo shortage." Maybe when you google that, you will get Phyllis Starkey's face...?!?

This next one just shows you that I'm becoming desensitized to the BBC's terse headlines style. The headline is 'Policeman praised for mud rescue'. Nope, he did not rescue the mud as this headline seems to imply. He rescued two children from the mud. Prepositions! A dying breed.

When all else fails, the Phoenix tries shake and sprinkle.

And last but not least, the disabled bowler avoids prison, but the lollipop man attacker is imprisoned. Tough luck on that last one.

Gay Marriages More Egalitarian

There's a great article in the NY Times today about recent studies about same-sex marriage and what they suggest about the role of gender in marriage. I'm quite excited about this article, because I've been saying for years that marriage, for women, is a bad deal. (I believe the exact, inflammatory phrase I use to upset my more conservative Southern family is, "Marriage is a form of legal prostitution for women.")

Here's my favorite bit:

“Heterosexual married women live with a lot of anger about having to do the tasks not only in the house but in the relationship,” said Esther D. Rothblum, a professor of women’s studies at San Diego State University. “That’s very different than what same-sex couples and heterosexual men live with.”

Thank you. That is exactly the point I've been trying to make for years. Along with all the really good reasons to let gays and lesbians get married -- it's the right thing to do, etc. -- there is the additional reason that same-sex marriage will expose the fact that our traditional notions of marriage are not based on any kind of biological, gendered roles for men and women but purely on cultural myths that persist in our society. And that is good for everyone. It is good for gay and lesbian folks because it further challenges this idea that they are somehow "aberrant" for being women with so-called 'masculine' traits or men with 'feminine' traits. And it helps heterosexuals to understand that a relationship isn't about "a man does this and a woman does that" which does nothing but further divide and alienate men and women.

Not to mention the fact that I'm looking forward to the Bridezilla battles between women and their former gay wedding planners now looking to book the same venues. It is on!

BBC Headlines: Getting Eaten by Dragons

Ah the weekend. Full of wonderful, weird stories from the BBC.

Like this one, which goes into detail about how likely you are to be eaten by a komodo dragon if you wash ashore on an island, dehydrated and near death. Not likely, if there's only one or two and you have enough strength to pelt it with stones. Good to know!

And this one: Cancer boy's stories help charity. Seriously?!?! Cancer boy? This kid survives a terrible disease and writes two books, the money from which he donates to a charity, and all you can come up with is CANCER BOY?!?! I would have at least thrown in some alliteration: 'Cancer boy chronicles case for charity cash' has a very nice ring to it.

This one takes a minute to unpack. The headline is: Stab death of porn charge ex-Pc. What's going on here, you ask? Ok. A former police constable who was up on charges of child pornography was stabbed to death. But I don't know how you're going to figure that out from the headline, which is weird and garbled.

I wish there was a picture for this one: Kitten rescued by vacuum cleaner.

And finally for those panda-porn aficionados out there: Giant panda sex secrets revealed. Oh yes, there is video.

BBC Headlines: Oh, Blah.

This picture pretty much sums up how I feel about the BBC website:



You have to read this whole story: Red faces over 'blah' drug answer. Someone actually responded to a government request about drugs in prison by writing "Blah." And it "only occurred in the version sent to journalists." Someone out there is generating material for the Absurd/Alliterative Headlines Department...

BBC Headlines: Children Brush Alone

This is very troubling: Many children 'brush teeth alone.' Unsupervised teeth-brushing is a huge crisis nowadays.

Update on the ear-biter is here. He's going to jail, obviously. And disturbingly, the article reports that he "invited bus passengers to photograph the severed part." Yipes!

And finally, sausage saves knife accused woman. Because in this age where our heroes are increasingly discredited, the sausage can still stand as a beacon for morality and courage.

BBC Headlines: Monkey Puzzle Tree

Right away, let me just bring your attention to the headline that BBC Stars are not paid too much. Instead, I would like to argue that the BBC headline-writers are not paid enough!

I mean, granted, this is seven words so a bit longer than the formula, but you can't deny this is seven words of brilliance: Man bit off and hid friend's ear. Succinct yet chilling. And of course, this is from Wales.

More bits of poetic brilliance:

Dirty hospital practices revealed!

Church in the sea goes electric.

And frankly, I know you were on tenterhooks about this one, but the monkey puzzle tree decision is due. So calm down already!